half term blues

I sit here on a chilly Thursday morning, its 1:57am,
Really should get some sleep,
But something is holding me back,
Half way through my final holiday here, before I wonder to a new country,
No.
that's not it,
something else is stopping me.
college.
stressful times, coursework, exams, nagging teachers.
No.
that's not it either,
starting to bug me now,
friends.
No,
it can't be,
friends are not it, and it's not my girlfriend either,
so what is it??
it's 2:14am not and im rattiling my brain,
what could it be?
ahh I know. him.